Why Your Defense Doesn’t Work Out The Way You Want It To

It’s so painful when a client is disappointed at your services (and demands a refund) — and you panic to defend your dignity, boundaries and your business (because you’ve done nothing wrong!).

…and still it all ends up with an angry ex-client and you giving away too much to please the client in hope that she will change her mind — and that makes you feel exhausted, angry and frustrated.

You wonder why it always ends up like this for you? All you want is a happy client that dont steal all your joy of running a business...

You think it’s the client — that the client is causing the situation by having false expectations of you (After all, the client was a real troublemaker, right? It was never possible to please her because she found problems in everything you did…)

You even wonder if the client is capable of spreading a bad rumor about your business and that makes you even more worried. (It’s a horrible thought … but it would be devastating).

None of that is actually true.

The real reason the client is disappointed in you is that you have not been clear what she can expect of you. And instead of listening to her the way she needs to be listened to when she feels disappointed…

You’ve been busy panicking about your reputation and the refund and most importantly: you’ve been panicking about disappointing the client and being the cause of the client's anger — I mean, that's the thing that hurts you the most.

(Oh dear, I know that is a tough pill to swallow.)

But listen, you are NOT the cause of their anger....

What that fear actually tells you, my friend, is that you're actually a big-hearted person.

So if your client is disappointed at your services, very likely, you’ve panicked and started to defend yourself which in return made the situation escalate, and when the situation escalates, your fear of being the cause of another person's anger makes you over-please the client (an outdated survival strategy you have from the past when you were a people-pleaser).

But you don't want to be a people-pleaser anymore…

And now she has ended your client relationship, because you’ve made her feel even more disappointed when she didn't get the acknowledgement she needed in the first place. (Ouch.)

If you want the client to trust you again after a disappointing experience (and I know you desire that deeply!), you need to first — know how to regulate your own nervous system so that you can calm yourself. You also need to know how you can make your client feel safe in your relationship again.

You need to know how to establish trust and safety in a person that is having fears.

And that means you need to know how to detect fears as early as possible (both in yourself and in the client)

This is what I teach you in my 16-weeks group program Guardians Of Feminine Light. I help highly-sensitive empaths (like you) see things clearly so that you can navigate these situations with ease (and as a client in my program you get both peer support and my support when dealing with confrontations so you'll never feel left alone).

Because having a business is supposed to feel joyable! And when you have this skill down, you will have happy clients. They will surely establish an even greater trust in you when the client sees how good you are at dealing with their disappointment.

Seriously, it's the same as children do — they scream and provoke you and the only reason they do it is because they feel safe with you in the first place and want to test your capacity to remain a safe person in their world even when things get a little tense. That's also what your client is doing… so it's a great opportunity to show her that you're not freaking out because of some critique.

And if you do freak out, take care of your own emotions first before answering the client. It's professional. That's why my group program Guardians Of Feminine Light is a perfect opportunity to really take care of your own emotions and well-being in confrontations so that you can be unshakeable, present and loving to the other person and establish safety. Because it's not the clients job, right?

You are a highly-sensitive soul with an open heart (I am just like you ). You deeply care and want nothing else than to have happy client and a life free from confrontations. I get it. And all this is what makes you uniqe! Beautiful woman, we need leaders like you in this world!

If you want my guide '3 mistakes many people make when confronted' you can find it HERE.